Give Yourselves a Nice Pat on the Back

In less than 1 week we have added over $2,000 to the fundraising efforts across the country for all the Team Jenna's. Our new grand total is $10,110 and this doesn't include any individual corporate matching funds each of you might have submitted for. This does include the wonderful match provided by the Kansas City University of Medicine and Biosciences.

Keep up the great work and know that your hard earned dollars are going to a wonderful cause, to further research and development to find a cure for cancer!

Love and appreciation,
Jenna and Rett

Chemo Treatment #2 Completed

Yesterday was chemo treatment #2. It was Pink Theme Day! And now we only have 14 more to go until we meet Baby Girl Oesch!


Natalie, Molly, Laura, Lindsey and Rett with me wearing our Pink Star Glasses!



Jan and Rett with Pink Star Glasses!



We had pink lemonade and pink long john's. Here is a picture of our tongues after eating the pink icing off the doughnuts. Thanks again to everyone for coming and sitting and helping me pass the 4 hours at the hospital. Lindsey, thanks for the goodies to keep my feet warm; Molly- thanks for the new tumbler to keep me hydrated; Jen- thanks for the fancy pedicure shoes...let's go get one; Jan- thanks for the pink blanket to snuggle with and keep me warm!

Also, not sure where or why I decided to purchase those hot pink heels but they sure worked out perfectly yesterday!

 

Will, Cora and Avery (my nephew and nieces) posed for a picture to wish me well.

Should be a great few days as I am back on the steroids. Rett and I are headed to the Cardinals game this afternoon with the Monsanto tickets. Thanks to everyone for the continued support, love and thoughts and prayers.

Love,

Jenna

Attitude.

Attitude.

There once was a woman who woke up one morning,
Looked in the mirror,
And noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today?"
So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up,
Looked in the mirror
And saw that she had only two hairs on her head
"H-M-M," she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today?"
So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up,
Looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.
"Well," she said, "today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail."
So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up,
Looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.
"YEA!" she exclaimed,
"I don't have to fix my hair today!"

Attitude is everything.
Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply.
Author Unknown. 

Beauty is Definitely on the Outside

It is very noble of us all to say that beauty comes from within, and it does, but it comes from the outside too.

If this weren't true the cosmetics industry wouldn't be what it is. I wouldn't be brand loyal to my Maybelline mascara or my MAC powder. I wouldn't have religiously gone to the beauty salon every 10-12 weeks for a highlight and haircut and I would have saved a lot of money at the mall.

However, every morning, we wake up, get in the shower and go through our entire regimen to looks good on the outside. But looking good on the outside builds confidence in the inside.

And that is why I spent the money that I did on my "new hair" that will be accompanying me through my journey. The doctor told me I would have 10-14 days after my first treatment until I lost my hair, but my follicles fought hard and lasted 18 days!

It was Saturday afternoon and Rett and I had a 2:00 wedding to attend. I got into the shower to go through the routine listed above. I began washing my hair and it was coming out all over the place. I had strands in my hands, all over the drain, so I began to think that I was prolonging the inevitable.

Rett and I prepared shop. We laid down an old sheet, wrapped a towel around my shoulders and sat me down in a chair from the basement. At this time we had about 30 minutes to get my head shaved, "hair" on, get dressed and start driving downtown. It ended up being a blessing in disguise as Rett and I had about 2 minutes to cry and hold each other, and then we had to get down to business.

Bring on the 3/4" guard (men will know what this is; but a guard is set to the blade to keep 3/4" of hair ontop of my head)! Hair was everywhere! It was on the floor, on me, on Rett and some made it into the trashcan. And then I looked into the mirror...and I was a Chia Pet!

My hair was gone; the hair that was just getting so full of bounce and shine from the pregnancy; the hair that helped define my outer beauty.

I debuted my new hair at the wedding and at work on Monday. I am still getting used to the fact that I have to put on my new hair everyday. But I know that the day will come that it will feel natural and add to my self confidence once again.

In the meantime, I do still have the nubbins of hair atop my head but it continues to thin. I learned a tip from another survivor to take a lint roller and rub onto my head; and this has become Rett's new favorite hobby.

Thank you for all your contributions!

Team Jenna's across the country have raised $8,175 to date to fight breast cancer! Thank you to all of you that have set up teams, helped fundraise and donated to this important cause.

Please remember that you can join any of the teams in Kansas City, St. Louis, Denver, Boston, Nashville and Dallas. Please see earlier posts for details on each. We would love to see you there!

Love,
Jenna

St. Louis Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk

Attention all St. Louis friends and family,

My dear friend of 25 years, Cara Baker Gerhardt, started a Team Jenna for the St. Louis Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk on Sat, Oct 30th at Forest Park. Please sign up to walk with us and/or donate to this great cause so men and women each year can celebrate more birthdays!
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY11HighPlains?team_id=789776&pg=team&fr_id=28094

Our Pi Phi Girl!

One silver lining in being pregnant and having breast cancer is that we will receive more frequent ultrasounds allowing us to see and check-up more frequently on the health and growth of Baby Oesch.

Today, we had a 17 week ultrasound. Baby Oesch is 6 oz, 7 inches with a heart rate of 148 bpm.

The ultrasound technician confirmed Baby Oesch was healthy and growing at the proper rate. We got to check up on the brain hemispheres, liver, kidneys, bladder, stomach, spine, and arm, hand and leg bones. And then came the big news.........Baby Oesch is a Baby Girl!

I think she might take after her mom and become a gymnast because she was doing somersaults throughout the entire ultrasound. Or maybe a boxer, because her arms and legs didn't stop moving!



Here are some great pictures of our baby girl.



Look at that cute button nose.

 

Here she is searching for her thumb. She might have already found it!





And here she is waving hello to mom and dad!



 

Rett is already looking forward to Pi Phi Pop's Weekend Fall 2029 at Mizzou with all the other future Pi Phi Dads! Lullabies are quickly sounding like sidewalk songs!

Love, Jenna and Rett and Fannie Whitenack Libbey

A Husband's Perspective: Volume 1

When Jenna first told me about the Blog she said that it should be about us and not just her. She kept telling me that she really wanted me to write and help her tell our story. So here we go.

As you all have seen so far my wife is an amazing woman. I don't think anyone could have approached this time with more courage, strength, and positive outlook as she has. I have always thought of myself as a strong person but over the past month I have learned that my wife is much stronger than I am. The day the news came was the worst day of my life. The worst part of it was the not knowing. How bad was it? What is going to happen to the baby? What was her treatment going to be? These were all questions that ran through my mind night and day. As the family knows I don't sleep a whole lot. I get up pretty early to go to work but that first week there wasn't much sleep at all. I would be able to fall asleep but when I would wake up there was no going back because of all of the thoughts running through my head. Things started getting better when we started meeting with Jenna's team of doctors. They have all been great. I thank God everyday that Dr. Smith was able to find the tumor. The first day I saw her after she found it I hugged her and was driven to tears telling her "Thank you". Once the doctors laid out exactly what Jenna's plan was going to be I could immediately sense a change in her. Ever since our first date I knew that this was a woman who always had a plan. She gets on me sometimes because I will wait till the last minute to plan something, but not her. She has set out with a determination and attitude that I wish I could have. She said in one of her posts that I am her rock. How come I feel like jello sometimes. I can not thank all of you enough for the cards, notes, meals, etc. that you have given her in support. I only hope one day that we can give back to all of you what you have given us. It is unfortunate that something like this has to happen but when you see the response from everyone it reminds you of how lucky you are. I am planning on keeping writing from time to time and adding to the Blog. I love you guys and thanks for everything. Keep the prayers and thoughts coming. They are working.

Rett

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk in Kansas City- Come join us!

Kansas City University of Medicine and Biosciences is pleased to participate in this year's

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk

on Saturday, October 23rd. 

Sponsored by the American Cancer Society, the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk provides an opportunity to honor breast cancer survivors and to raise funds and awareness to help end the disease.

Details

Saturday, October 23, 2010

5K walk starting at 9am

Liberty Memorial

100 West 26^th Street

Kansas City, Mo 64108

How you can participate:

• Sign up as a walker!  If you would like to join fellow KCUMB walkers on October 23rd, please visit: http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY11HighPlains/1115965830?pg=team&fr_id=28091&team_id=783688 or contact Kimberly Freeman at kafreeman@kcumb.edu or for information on how to sign up.

• Donate to the cause.  If you are unable to attend the event and want to find out more about donating to the cause, please visit http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY11HighPlains/1115965830?pg=team&fr_id=28091&team_id=783688 or contact Sara Selkirk at sselkirk@kcumb.edu.

We invite you to grab your friends, co-workers, and loved ones and walk in support of Jenna Oesch, Nancy Jones' (Executive Director of University Events) daughter, who was recently diagnosed, and others you know touched by the disease.

All proceeds will go directly to the American Cancer Society and will be MATCHED dollar-for-dollar up to $2,500 by KCUMB.

Happy Birthday, Baby!

Happy 31! Double decker lemon cake with lemon icing fresh from the oven! Rett had to restrain himself at 6:30AM from digging in! Have a fabulous birthday!  I love you!

Day 6 and Day 7 "Yucks"

I am admitting up front that I am stealing the term "yucks" from my new friend, Jodi Allen. Jodi and I haven't met in person (yet!) but she and I were destined to meet.

Before I started my chemotherapy, the thought of entering the Infusion Center was so frightening. It was in the basement of the hospital; it had multiple beds lined up across the room with cancer patients getting treatments. It was what seemed to be the loneliest place on the planet.

I was visiting Barb at the Cancer Support Center on the Wednesday before my treatments began and after we got to talking she said that I reminded her of another patient that just happened to be there that day and she insisted that we meet. As we walked back into the Infusion Center all I could think about was how badly I didn't want to be there and how unfair it was that God had chosen me to take this path with Him.

When we turned around the corner I noticed a fully clad-clown (Jodi's friend) and volunteers with clown noses. Unfortunately I was not able to meet Jodi that day as she was with her doctor but I got to see another side to the Infusion Center and it helped prepare me for my first treatment. (As you know from an earlier post, the Mizzou Day was a hit!) 

Jodi called me on Friday and we connected right from the beginning. She lives about 1 mile from me, has two small children, just finished treatment #12, she has great friends at Monsanto and she and her friends are the hit of Wednesdays at the treatment center!  Jodi started off on the third drug that I will receive and she transitions next week into the AC drug that I am currently taking. So unbeknownst to me I have been able to provide a few useful tips to her as well.

One of those tips is that Day 6 and Day 7 just plain SUCK. They are the "Yucks". As noted earlier the side effects hit me like a ton of bricks. I was out of the office for two days wondering when I would get my spunk back. I could barely concentrate on the screen of my blackberry (and that doesn't happen often).

Waking up this morning and feeling good, healthy and energized was amazing. I have learned in a very short time how important it is to cherish every minute I have that I feel good.

So, I took extra time on my hair today. I took a picture because I wanted to have a photo of before it fell out, before I would have to shave it and before the wig came off the mannequin head that I have so oddly sitting on my bathtub.

Rett and I also spent some time together before he headed off to a guys' night out. We purchased the new iPod Nano for the nursery, we ordered our nursery furniture (in espresso and with Sweet Lambie Pottery Barn Kids collection) and I went to Dierberg's to purchase his lemon birthday cake with lemon icing! It will be a double decker cake when I am done with it! Love, Jenna

Jenna's Bosom Buddies

The races continue! Please support Jenna's Bosom Buddies in their efforts to fundraise for the Komen Dallas Race for the Cure.

There are so many ways to help:
Donate
Volunteer
Join them
Talk to your employer about sponsoring the event.
Forward this link to friends and family to help us fundraise for all the survivors and future survivors! 
http://www.komen-dallas.org/site/TR?team_id=41470&fr_id=1050&pg=team

Thank you, Kristin and Cheryl!
Love,
Jenna

Bostonians- Please support Laura and Breast Cancer

Hey Boston fans!!! Please support my good friend, Laura Duffy, as she races for the fight against breast cancer in Boston! She has set a personal goal to fundraise over $200 to help support those battling breast cancer.


Please help support Laura by clicking on this link below!!
www.komenmassrace.org/lauraduffy

Laura is in the green dress on the left.

Duffy- thank you for your personal dedication to bringing awareness and funds to breast cancer.
Love
Jenna

And Here Come the Side Effects

So, I was off to a great start this morning when I posted earlier. I was up, I had eaten some cereal with blueberries and raspberries and was headed to the shower. I was on time and ready to make a status meeting and then off to the hospital for the "Look Good. Feel Better." event.

I got into the shower and was washing my hair when all of a sudden my arms and legs felt like dead weight. I felt lightheaded and dizzy and thought that I was going to pass out. I quickly got out of the shower to splash some cold water on my face and get some water from my thermos that doesn't leave my side.

I was home alone as Rett was already downtown preparing for a presentation at a seminar (he did great by the way!) and was scared that I would pass out and no one would know. I called Jan and she came over to make sure all was ok and wait until I was able to get a hold of the doctor.

I spoke to Dr. Lyss and he informed me that I most likely was dehydrated and the warm water of the shower probably compounded the situation when my pores opened up. I have been so thirsty and therefore have been drinking about 150 oz of water a day plus a Gatorade a day since my first treatment.

I was to lay around and take it easy for an hour and then call his nurse, Hella. When speaking with Hella she told me that the chemo drugs have been flushed from my system by now but the effects of the drugs can come on hard around days 7-10. This is day 6 for me.

Jan drove me to the event at the hospital and I was feeling better with my water and Gatorade in tow. The event was wonderful. Apparently Huggies wipes serve as great make-up removers because there is little to no alcohol content in them. I also learned how to officially use a eyebrow pencil to fill in my eyebrows when they fall out. I got a great goody bag and met 4 other survivors all going through different stages of treatment now.

This afternoon I worked from home. I don't feel dizzy or lightheaded anymore but am much more tired than I have been the last week. And, it is so hot in the house! I am having my own personal summer. Hot flashes are not fun! Another fun side effect to the chemo.

I am trying to take it easy but this pace is not my style. :)

Love
Jenna

Look Good. Feel Good.

I am headed to the hospital this morning for my first cancer support center event. It is called "Look Good. Feel Better." There I will meet with makeup artists and other cancer patients to learn how to look and feel great throughout the chemotherapy.

I am going to learn about skin care, applying eyelashes and eyebrows with makeup techniques, etc.

It has now been 5 days since my first treatment, one of those days without the steroids and I am still feeling great! Rett and I have been going on walks up and down the street as my port is not completely healed yet. It helps me keep a bit active and get out in this great weather we have been having.

My face has begun to breakout a little from the chemo and I have lost about 3 pounds. Whoever thought that I would be concerned about the losing weight side effect? However I just want to make sure my baby is growing at a normal rate and pace, especially since the third chemo drug that begins in about 11 weeks has premature labor and low birth weights as potential side effects.

Rett and I will be visiting Dr. Smith next week for a 17 week ultrasound and check-up next Monday. Silver lining: we get to see our baby more often!

Love,
Jenna

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer in Nashville, TN

For anyone in Nashville, my wonderful friend, Tara Tomlinson Paulin, is planning to participate in this year's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer of Nashville in my honor. Please consider joining "Team Jenna" or donating to the fundraising efforts.

Let's get our stride on Saturday, October 30th at 9:00 am at LP field!!!!

Below is the link to the Nashville Team Jenna page:


http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY11Mid-South?team_id=779103&pg=team&fr_id=28123
 

Thank you to Tara! Love you!

24 hours Post 1st Treatment

I am not sure how I was expecting to feel, but the way I felt today was not it. I was expecting to feel worn down, tired, nauseated. After battling insomnia for 2 hours last night (BTW, there is nothing good on TV between 3 AM -5 AM. Thank goodness Early Today finally came on!) I woke up at 7 AM and felt energized and ready to tackle the day.

I went to work today and worked a 7.5 hour workday. I am not sure if it is the steroids that I am taking that are pumping me up, or if I will crash tomorrow, or if this is all a good sign of things to come throughout my chemo treatment.

It was nice to get out of the house, not be at the hospital, and have other items to distract my mind for a bit today. I like a routine and was glad to get a piece of my usual routine back today.

I had a bit of a headache last night - a side effect- of the nausea prevention medicine however it was gone when I woke up today. My face and chest have a bit of a reddish color while my arms and hands look really washed out. Not the ideal tan from the sun goddess that I am :) I guess these are all odd side effects of the AC chemo drugs that I have for the next 3 treatments.

I can't keep saying thank you enough for all the calls, emails, texts, etc that all my family, friends, and co-workers have sent. It is great to hear the words of encouragement, the stories of how their loved ones got through their battle with cancer, and how my strong and positive attitude will prevail.

OB Team- Thanks for the beautiful flowers that arrived at the office today. What a beautiful way to brighten my desk for my first day back.

Aubree and Taylor- Your flowers are still being held hostage at the neighbors' house. Hopefully we can retrieve them tomorrow.

Love to all,
Jenna

First Treatment Completed!

Today I finished my first chemo treatment. Although it was about a four hour process it was pretty uneventful which was great! My mom, Rett and 4 girlfriends (Jenn, Laura, Natalie and Emily) joined to keep me company. They all planned a Mizzou theme to lighten the mode which included my Mizzou Snuggie, mini Trumans, Harpo's cups, Shakespeare's pizza, tiger ears, tattoos, Tiger wristbands. It brought great joy to the infusion center; we all had fun but the trauma nurse, a graduate from the University of Illinois.

Thank you to all of my wonderful Pi Phi girls that pitched in to contribute to an iPad. What a wonderful surprise! From the note directly: "We are all here for you during this time. But in case we are not physically here we thought this toy would allow you to "TOTT." Enjoy and we can't wait to help you beat this thing."

I can't wait to load it up with photos of all the special people around me.

I feel pretty good right now. Not sure if the steroids are kicking in but I hope the great feeling lasts. I was a bit emotionally drained this afternoon as I really didn't have a clue as to the experience and process for today. But now I now the plan and I know that I can do this! I am going to try to go to work tomorrow morning and see how my body holds up. The funny thing is that sometimes the side effects don't kick in until 48-72 hours later. I am ready to knock this thing out however!

Rett made us a calendar count down and we are only 15 treatments away from meeting Baby Oesch! I am so elated to know that the BRAC test is negative as it relieves a big stress- the stress of worrying if my mom, my dad, my brother or my baby could have also had the gene. Another step in the right direction for today!

Love to all,
Jenna

Celebrate the Small Wins!

As my brother told me this morning, "we need to celebrate the small wins!" and that is what we are doing this morning. My BRAC test came back NEGATIVE! Woo Hoo!

Off to my first chemo treatment. After today, I will only have 15 more treatments until we get to meet Baby Oesch!

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers. They are working!
Love
Jenna

15 Week Baby Bump

As of today, we are 15 weeks along. That means we are 15 weeks closer to meeting Baby Oesch. The baby is close to the size of a softball and may be sucking his/her thumb. Ears are continuing to develop and the eyes continue to move to the front of the face. The bones have formed and are getting harder and retaining calcium rapidly.

Rett took some pictures to track my baby bump...how Hollywood of us!

Denver, CO Komen Race for the Cure

My wonderful friend, Becky Godsey Herb, is planning to participate in this year's Komen Race for the Cure in my honor in Denver, CO. Please consider joining "Team Jenna" or donating to the fundraising efforts. Feel free to forward this along to friends and family that may be interested in doing the race with her! (She'll be walking in the 7am event.)

http://www.komendenver.org/site/TR?pg=team&fr_id=1100&team_id=49481
Above is the page Becky has set up for all to join the team or donate to the cause.

Thanks, Becky! Love you!

Please Save the Date!

As part of October’s National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the American Cancer Society is hosting 5K walks around the country. In Kansas City, the 2010 Making Strides Against Breast Cancer event will be held on Saturday, October 23, 2010. My mom works at Kansas City University of Medicine and Biosciences and they are working to put a Team Jenna together. I would love for all of you to walk and help raise money if you are able.


More details at the link below and I will post more information soon. Please save the date!
http://makingstrides.acsevents.org/site/TR?fr_id=28091&pg=entry

Starting Chemotherapy

Baby Oesch and I will look very similar when he/she is delivered as they have told me that I will lose my hair. I went to the hospital to try on wigs and got mine ordered. The Cancer Center at Mo Bap has a wonderful program where they provide each patient with a complimentary wig, cancer support programs and a library of resources.

My doctor has prepared me for losing my hair beginning around the 21st of September. This is a very emotional thing for me as I just want to look normal. I don’t want to look sick and I want to live a normal life during all of my treatments. I still have not figured out why God chose me for this bump in the road but I will continue to seek that out. My hair should begin to start growing back soon after the Baby’s delivery as the radiation, second round of chemo (different drug) and hormones don’t have this side effect.

My first chemotherapy treatment is Tuesday and I have wonderful friends and family that are going to join me at the center to keep me company.

The Road Ahead

Friday, September 3. I have since met with my team of doctors and I know that I am in very good hands. I can't thank Dr. Smith enough as she was so proactive once she felt the lump in my breast. Dr. Hamill was so thorough with the ultrasounds on both my left and right breasts, mammogram and biopsies. Dr. Yadzi was so comforting as the surgeon whom will operate when necessary. Dr. Fagundes will administer my radiation in the Spring of 2011 and Dr. Lyss will adminster my chemotherapy and hormone therapy.

This team of doctors have a fantastic reputation and I am so blessed to have them all under the same roof and working together to bring my health back to 100% and cancer free. Plus, I was very lucky to have my mom, my dad, Taylor and Aubree in town during this time as well as rely on Rett's in town family for love and support.

Yesterday, I had my power port put in via outpatient surgery. This port will serve as my semi-permanent IV for all of my treatments. It allows for one injection site as the veins in my arms an't withstand all the sticks for the chemotherapy. Wondering what it looks like? I was too. It is triangle in shape and about the size of a nickel. It is about a 1/2 inch thick and is shiny purple. In the middle of the triangle is a pad where the needle will go. Coming out of the port is a tube the size of a spaghetti noodle. This tube carries the chemotherapy to my main artery and distributes it throughout the rest of my body. It is completely under the skin in my chest on the upper right hand side.

As of right now, I am still awaiting the BRAC test results. All of my doctors are expecting it to come back negative as there is no breast cancer history in my family and because I am so young (average age for breast cancer diagnosis is 50-70 years old). If the test comes back negative, my treatment will consist of the following:

• 24 weeks of Chemotherapy
•  I will then deliver Baby Oesch late February
• Lumpectomy
• Chemotherapy for 24 more weeks + 6.5 weeks of Radiation and 5 years of Hormone therapy (the tumor is estrogen fed)

I now have a plan. Which I know seems odds but knowing what is coming truly helps settle my mind a bit. And the best news is that the chemotherapy drugs that Dr. Lyss will administer will not pass through the placenta and therefore safe for the baby. It is truly all a miracle; a miracle that I got pregnant because the estrogen in my body allowed for the tumor to be big enough to be felt and diagnosed AND that Baby Oesch will be my miracle baby and our light at the end of the tunnel.

The Day the News Came

Tuesday, August 24th. I wasn't expecting to hear from any of my doctors until the next day. So, I woke up still recovering from the biopsies to work from home. Rett had gone to work as well. The phone rang around 12:15 PM and it was Dr. Smith. She was calling to tell me that she had received teh results back from the lab and that the news was not good. The results came back as malignent and I had breast cancer.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. What does that mean? What lies ahead? What does this mean for my pregnancy? What do I do next?

I was alone sitting at my kitchen table and all I could do was cry and scream! I had to call Rett at work. I asked him to come home ASAP and to drive carefully. I didn't tell him the news on the phone but he knew. My next phone call was to my mom. I didn't know how I was going to tell her that her daughter had breast cancer and that I needed her to come to St. Louis. Before I knew it she was on her way to St. Louis, thanks to wonderful friends that volunteered to drive her as she was too upset to drive.

Once Rett got home we held eachother and cried. He told me he loved me and that we would do whatever it took to battle this to make me healthly again. Rett is my rock.

Dr. Smith has told me that a team of Missouri Baptist (Mo Bap) doctors would be meeting to review my case first thing Wednesday morning and that I would begin my consultations that morning as well. It was so much to take in. I was entering a brand new world, new terminology, new doctors and new treatments.

13th Week Check-Up

On Monday, August 23rd I was scheduled for my 13th week baby check-up. My OBGYN, Dr. Smith, and I had decided to also roll in my women's annual exam into this same appointment. Rett and I had discussed that this was an appointment he wouldn't have to meet me. Dr. Smith had a hard time finding the baby's heartbeat with the Doppler device so I got to see the baby again via the ultrasound. The baby was laying on its back with his hands in front of his face and jumping up and down. Baby Oesch had grown so mcuh, almost doubled, since we had had our 8 week ultrasound.

After we had fun looking at the baby and determining all was healthy, we moved onto my health check-up. Dr. Smith found a lump in my left breast and immediately sent me to the Breast Health Center at Missouri Baptist Hospital. I went upstairs hoping they would take me as a walk-in for a breast ultrasound and that the ultrasound would confirm that the lump was just my body reacting to the pregnancy.

Within two hours, I had received the ultrasound and two biopsies, one on the lump and another on my lymphnodes. It was the most terrifying two hours. I was alone (until Rett raced to the hospital before my biopsy), scared, not sure about my future health and how this was all going to affect my baby's health. Dr. Hamill was great as he kept me calm and walked me through the biopsies step by step. He explained to me that the ultrasound had shown two areas of concern, those in which were biopsied and that the lab would be able to give us the answer to the looming question- was it benign or malignent?

I left the hospital that afternoon to go home, take care of my post-biopsy areas and await for the news.

2010 is Our Year!

I am a huge planner and all of my family, friends and co-workers would agree that creating lists, scratching things off that list and time management are all things that keep me organized. It is easy to create a to-do list for grocery shopping, errands to run or things to accomplish at work, however 2010 was the year that creating a list wasn't going to help me and Rett accomplish the biggest gift of all, starting a family.

After studying abroad in college I had always wanted to travel back to Europe with Rett and explore cities and countryside that would create everlasting memories for us. We did this in the Fall of 2009 and traveled to 6 countries in 18 days. It was our "Last Hoorah" trip together before we would start a family.

I found out I was pregnant on June 27th, 2 days before my 30th birthday. I was about 5 weeks along. We were both so happy and  fulfilled with so much love. We immediately began buying books and reviewing online newsletters to prepare us for our new bundle of joy's arrival.

We had several trips planned for the summer and we were just dying to tell our family and friends but we wanted to make sure it was the right time and we were far enough along in the pregnany. Over the 4th of July we went to visit Rett's family in Crystal Lake, IL. We thought we were being sneaky but i don't think we fooled everyone. The next weekend, we met my mom, my brother, Taylor, and my sister-in-law, Aubree in Boston to celebrate my 30th birthday. I met my mom at her gate and she immediately was picking up on cues and then when I didn't order a glass of wine at dinner she knew! We told my family that weekend but swore them to secrecy. The next weekend we were back with Taylor and Aubree in Columbus for an annual golf tournamet Rett plays in with Taylor. It was nice to just relax at the pool, get a pedicure and hang out with them.

After getting back from all of our travels, we had our 8 week ultrasound and what a beautiful miracle we could see in our printed ultrasound. A healthy baby! Over the course of the next few weeks we had so much fun telling the rest of our families and friends about our great news.