A Husband's Perspective: Volume 3

Well let's just say that a lot has changed since my last post. It definitely was a shock on the morning of January 8th when Jenna came into our room and said "I think my water broke". One thing that I have gone through which both my mom and Jenna's dad had told us was it is amazing how fast you fall in love with your children the first time that you see them. When you first meet someone you start dating, get to know each other, and then eventually those feelings develop. The first time I held Emma I was in love. Obviously if you have been following the blog the first 2 1/2 weeks that Emma was here were very hard. It was very draining on both Jenna and I to have to make the trek to the hospital everyday, as if we weren't spending enough time there already. It was great though the day that she got to come home. It really makes you feel like you are a family at that point when Jenna, Emma, and I get to spend time together. As most parents go through, I was very nervous at first. Nervous that I wasn't doing things right, wasn't soothing her the way that she needs to be soothed, and not feeding her correctly. Somehow though you just figure it out. No one who is a first time parent knows exactly what to do with a newborn but you figure it out.

As a dad there are a lot of emotions you go through. You want to be there to help take care of her but at the same time you know that you need to work to provide for your wife and child, so that takes you away from them. Being a dad is very rewarding. I typically do her 9:15 pm feeding and her 5:00 am feeding. The 9:15 pm one is definitely my favorite because I get her ready for bed and get to watch her fall asleep. I wish I had someone to rock me to sleep like that every night. Emma truly has been a blessing to both Jenna and I.

Onto another topic, Jenna's health. The news that we have been getting from the doctors has been tremendous. Jenna's early post about high fives really made me laugh. Each time the doctor would walk out of the room after giving us good news Jenna and I would give each other a high five when no one is around but we were always afraid that he might hear us out in the hall. I don't like to get over confident or look too far ahead but for some reason it just seems like things are working out. The power of prayer definitely has been working. It still is a long road ahead. Jenna has surgery on March 8th but the diagnosis for that has improved with the MRI showing that the tumor is all but gone and that they only need to remove 6-10 lymphnodes instead of the originally diagnosed 10-20. The fewer lymphnodes that they remove the quicker her recovery will be.

Some of you may know but I wear a pink wristband on my right wrist. It has the breast cancer ribbon on it and says "Breast Cancer Awareness." I wear it to remind me of what Jenna is going through. To be honest, I really don't like wearing it. At night it rolls up on my arm, pulls the hair out, and is just all around annoying. Plus, who wants to be reminded constantly of what your wife is going through. I told Jenna that when this is all over I want her to cut it off. It will be a celebration of her being done with this bump in the road but also a sign to me that it is time to move on.

All you have to do is read the blog over the last couple of months to know what kind of woman I am married to. It has been really cool watching her now change into a loving and caring mother. I can't wait to spend the next years of our lives watching our daughter grow up together. I love you, Jenna.

I always end my posts throwing out big thank yous to all of you. Thank you for the prayers, cards, meals, phone calls, visits, gifts for Emma, etc. I will say it again that I hope one day Jenna and I can give back some of the gifts that you have given to us.

Love,
Rett