One Year as a Survivor!

Wow! What a difference a year makes. I have experienced every high and every low this year and the emotions have come back around as I go into tomorrow celebrating one year as a survivor.

It was August 24th, 2010 that I received the call from my OBGYN to tell me that my biopsy came back malignant and that I did in fact have breast cancer. I met with Dr. Smith about two weeks ago for my annual exam (the same exam last year that led to the discovery of the lump in my left breast) and all of those emotions hit me like a ton of bricks. I was crying. I was nervous, anxious. I was proud that I had beaten it. I was worried about what this year would bring. I was excited to have a healthy 7 month old but concerned about her future health and risk. I was scared for 4.5 more years of treatment. I was hopeful for other survivors!

And Dr. Smith just sat there and listened.

I am definitely a changed person from this time last year. I am passionate; I seize opportunities; I see the world differently.

Rascal Flatts sums up my year long journey and roller coaster of emotions in their song Skin: Sarabeth. (Lyrics below but much better when they are singing it.)

Sarabeth is scared to death
To hear what the doctor will say
She hasn't been well
Since the day that she fell
And the bruise it just won't go away

So she sits and she waits with her mother and dad
And flips through an old magazine
'Til the nurse with a smile stands at the door
And says "Will you please come with me?"

Sarabeth is scared to death
Cause the doctor just told her the news
Between the red cells and white
Something's not right
But we're gonna take care of you

Six chances in ten it wont come back again
But with the therapy we're gonna try
It's just been approved it's the strongest there is
But I think we caught it in time
Sarabeth closes her eyes

And she dreams she's dancin' around and around
Without any cares
And her very first love
Is holding her close
And the soft wind is blowing her hair

Sarabeth is scared to death
as she sits holding her mom
cause it would be a mistake
For someone to take
A girl with no hair to the prom

For just this morning right there on her pillow
Was the cruelest of any surprise
Yet She cried when she gathered it all in her hands
The proof that she couldn't deny
Sarabeth closes her eyes

And she dreams she's dancin' around and around
With out any cares
And her very first love
Was holding her close
And the soft wind was blowing her hair

It's quarter to seven
that boy's at the door
Her daddy ushers him in
And when he takes off his cap they all start to cry
Cause this morning where his hair had been
Softly she touches just skin

They go dancin' around and around
Without any cares
And her very first true love
Is holding her close
And for a moment she isn't scared.


Thank you all for taking this journey with me and supporting me throughout the highs, the lows, the losing of my hair, the first day at work with my wig, growing my hair back in, the first treatment, the side effects, the overnight care, the family shuttling along I-70, Emma's birth, the meals, the grocery shopping, the cards, flowers and the prayers. I love you all and hope you know how much each and everyone of you mean to me!
Love always and forever,
Jenna