I sit here crying as I write this to you. I love you so much and you continue to amaze me with your go get em attitude and strength to conquer what is ahead of you. I had a difficult start to the week as Daddy went back to work so he can take more time when you come home. It was hard to be at the hospital during the day by myself but there isn't any other place I wanted to be. With so much time to think, I started to blame myself. I blamed myself for the fact that you were in the NICU because without my chemotherapy drugs you most likely would have made it closer to full term allowing you all the full advantages of development. You, at only 2 weeks old, have inspired me to keep my positive attitude and spirit and continue to fight for the both of us. I promise to always love, nurture, and take care of you.
You have been in the NICU now for 2 weeks and you have overcome some great obstacles. I have to keep reminding myself that you are only 35 weeks gestational age and you are doing things outside the womb that you shouldn't have to be doing yet.
You have been breathing on your own since you were born. Your lungs needed a bit of help with some steroids and a CPAP machine but you have been powering them alone this entire time. You have taught yourself how to suck from a bottle while swallowing and breathing and have gone from taking 3 cc's of formula to 60 cc's in 2 weeks (this is 2 oz). You have been able to gain some weight which in turn has allowed your body to grow, continue to develop and help regulate your own body temperature. You were born at 3 lbs 12 oz and now weigh 4 lbs 6 oz.
Here are some of my favorite moments from the week:
- You moved into a big girl crib because you were ready to regulate your own body temperature
- Continuing Kangaroo Care ("snuggle time" as I call it) while signing to you and you holding my finger
- Finalizing the finishing touches on your nursery with Daddy so it is ready for you when you come home
- Giving you your massages I learned from PT
- Bringing in your Preemie outfits to dress you in at the hospital
- Celebrating your 2 week old birthday
- Giving you your first bath
|Coming out of your isolette|
|Your big girl crib|
|Eskimo kisses from Daddy|
|Showing Mom and Dad how to swaddle you|
|2 weeks old today! (35 weeks gestational)|
|So alert right before your feedings|
|Using a big girl bottle|
|Mommy, Emma and Daddy- you are 15 days old|
On Sunday night, you passed your car seat test and have crossed off another item on the checklist to get you ready to come home. In discussions with your neonatologist yesterday, she is hoping for a Wednesday Homecoming! Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you and can't wait to bring you home!
I love you, Emma!